Good old Jeremy Kyle, he’s got the best job in the world. He wheels out the most stupid and awful people his researchers can find and then humiliates them so he and his audience can feel superior.

This chap, who actually can’t even spell “father”, is so stupid that after this performance even the Daily Star deemed him suitable for a national mocking.

The Daily Star! This is a newspaper best described as the lobotomised man’s Sun!

I know what you are thinking: was Einstein the baby-daddy? Luckily for the young lady, the DNA test was the second thing he failed that day.

I don’t blame her for being relieved. No one wants to be tying a kid’s shoes and fishing marbles out of its nose well into its twenties.