It’s not just the astronomical oh-my-God-let’s-get-hysterical-about-this-good-and-proper fuel prices that are vexing drivers on our petrol station forecourts at the moment. There is a far greater menace to be found in the form of these “unnecessary quotation marks” I discovered at a Texaco garage, just prior to emptying the contents of my wallet and handing over my car in order to meet the cost of this transaction.

Update: Some of those more skilled in identifying the lowest form of wit than I am have pointed out that I have been slightly hasty and, more crucially, incorrect in denouncing quotation mark use on this occasion. I hereby apologise to the petrol station employee who labelled the pump, even though they still sound like a right tosser.