There’s a peculiar, mangled use of the present tense in journalism, apparently for the purpose of conveying immediacy. It also seems to go hand-in-hand with an aversion to pronouns. When used cleverly it can often make for snappy, memorable headlines; when deployed by a moron, it boggles brains.

Thanks to new GrammarBlog reader Michelle Stephens, who apparently felt an ‘overwhelming urge’ to share this with us. Good to know we’re having that sort of effect on people.