Following the haphazard selling off of Britain’s railways, stations and rolling stock, it comes as no surprise that Network Rail has now tendered out its use of English to an unidentified Icelandic investment group. So far we have seen the word ‘tracks’ spelt ‘trax’, and buffet car has become BufetKar.

Now we’ve got this, sent in by the very kind and vigilant Sven Latham:


This entry will now terminate due to the wrong kind of grammar. Please alight ensuring you have all your personal belongings with you, and give thought to how superfluous that ‘personal’, always used in on-train announcements here, is.